Many folks in Minnesota have been feeling increased stress, uncertainty, and heaviness with the disturbing events that have been unfolding in our communities recently. When we as individuals, families, and neighbors experience difficult times, it can be an opportunity to prove what we are made of. We can come together to support each other, to live into our values of compassion, resilience, courage, and to find new ways to care for ourselves and one another.
For some, this might involve taking the step to connect with a counselor or therapist to learn some helpful tools for coping with stress and challenge – so that instead of feeling overcome by the overwhelming circumstances, we can cultivate an inner strength and steadiness to help us find our way back to steadiness when the ground under us feels shaky. At Minnesota Clinic for Health and Wellness, we have many caring and experienced providers to meet you with support – wherever you’re at on your journey.
Here are a few research-backed tips from one of our licensed psychologists who supports folks healing from trauma and difficult life experiences. During these tense times, we invite you to find the opportunities for growth amidst the struggle. We heal together, and if you’d like to dig more deeply into any of these coping strategies, reach out to be paired with one of our therapists to help you tailor these tools to help you in your exact situation.
1. Remember emotions are not good or bad
Each emotion serves a purpose to alert us to something important. Fear can tell us that we are perceiving a threat to our wellbeing, triggering our fight-or-flight response. Anxiety can sometimes help us “prepare” for a situation or perform during a stressful task. Anger can tell us that an injustice or boundary has been crossed, such as a sense of safety. Grief can tell us that we feel we’ve lost something important to us. Hopelessness or powerlessness can tell us that we feel an inability to influence a situation or feeling a lack of choice or control over a larger source, event, power, or system. Ask yourself and label what emotion(s) you might be feeling. Labeling emotions in and of itself can be regulating to distress.
Siegel, D.J. & Bryson, T. D. (2012). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. Bantam Books.
2. If your emotions are doing more harm than good try Dialectical Behavior Therapy’s (DBT) skill – taking opposite action
Find actions that might feel the “opposite” to the overwhelming emotion you might be feeling. For example, if you are feeling down or depressed, maybe that means you engage in things that might make you laugh, smile, or feel happy. That could mean listening to music that makes you feel this way, watching a comedy act online, or looking at photos that make you smile.
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Skills training manual for treating Borderline Personality Disorder. The Guildford Press.
3. Schedule “worry/anxiety/panic” time
This Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) skill suggests you schedule 30 minutes daily let yourself worry, maybe read news, or talk to others about it etc., just letting these emotions and thoughts be. Then limit your exposure to things that might increase anxiety/panic (i.e. news, social media etc.) other times of the day. By scheduling time to worry, you can help yourself refocus the rest of the day to carry on with what you might need to do, knowing you have your “worry time” set aside for later. This is also an example of us practicing setting boundaries or containment for ourselves while still remaining informed to current events.
McGowan, S., & Behar, E. (2012). A preliminary investigation of stimulus control training for worry: Effects on anxiety and insomnia. Behavior Modification, 7(1), pp. 90-112.
4. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), skills like this equip you decide how you would like to live out your values in this situation you’re in
By focusing on your values, you can align what is important to you with your actions, creating meaning and purpose (in spite of a sense of chaos). For example, maybe you value social justice, so you can focus on engaging in actions that align with addressing social inequities through donation of your time or money or protesting or showing solidarity with a cause. Maybe you value knowledge, so you focus on obtaining the best evidenced-based research and non-biased facts, or maybe you value empathy, so you focus on lending a listening ear to a friend or neighbor.
Harris, R. (2009). ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Engage in activities that will reduce stress. Research shows that 30 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise can help lower stress related hormones, such as cortisol. Mind-body approaches, such as yoga, tai chi, or breathe work such as progressive muscle relaxation, also help reduce stress and improve our connection to our body. Connecting with family, friends, and community that helps us feel seen, known, and understood can also be stress reducing. Understand that everyone has a different reaction to stress and try to listen non judgmentally.
Creating a self-soothe box can also be a tangible way to identify items that utilize your five senses (sight, sound, taste, smell, touch) that are calming or soothing in some way. Placing these items in some kind of container like a shoebox or bag can be an easy way to take them on the go or have them in one place to easily find various options that might be stress-reducing. Listing them out on a piece of paper may be one way to help remind yourself of a soothing item if not able to place it directly in a box. Children and adolescents might also benefit or find this exercise helpful.
Sight: Pictures of favorite walking trail, vacation spot, or photos of your pet. Listing out your favorite online videos, comedy sketches, or movies/shows.
Sound: Making a playlist of songs that you enjoy. They might be songs that make you want to dance , sounds of nature, or songs that remind you of happy or calm times. Sharing songs or a collective playlist with friends or family can be another way to feel connected. Listing your favorite audiobooks, guided meditations, or sitting outside to listen to nature’s sounds.
Taste: Having a favorite snack or drink. Gum, mints, or sour candies can also be helpful for coping with stress. A tea bag or a gift card for yourself to your favorite coffee shop.
Smell: Compared to other senses, smell has a direct pathway to the brain’s emotion and memory centers – triggering both positive or negative memories. Finding scents that are associated with calm can help use this pathway for stress relief. Some ideas might be essential oils, whether used with a diffuser or aromatherapy stick, scented lotions, candles, or perfume/cologne.
Touch: A heating pad or conversely an ice pack can both be helpful for shifting the nervous system. A soft blanket or sweatshirt. Your favorite fidget, silly putty, or weighted blanket.
Humans are meant for connection, belonging, and resiliency. Everyone has their own unique nervous system which is shaped by both our genetics and our lived experiences. Individuals that might have more sensitive nervous systems, due to neurodiversity, age, cultural backgrounds and experiences, previous trauma or chronic stress, or managing mental or physical health conditions may need additional boundaries or support for navigating uncertain and stressful times. Approaches for nervous system regulation also differ for short-term or long-term stress.
Our nervous systems also do not exist in isolation. Supporting and caring for ourselves is also an act of supporting the wider nervous system of humanity. Being with another human that you feel safe, seen, and understood can help provide co-regulation and build resiliency. We aren’t meant to live this life alone. If you would like additional information, tools, or support to help yourself during these stressful and uncertain times, the Minnesota Clinic for Health and Wellness is here to provide a variety of services to support you. We are Minnesotans, and our caring and wise therapists are here to help you get pointed back to your North Star.
